i did... nothing

I recently found myself in our city park on a cold, windy, 20 degree Sunday afternoon.  The park was deserted... or so I thought. 

Deserted is how I wanted it, which is why I ventured out of my cozy home on a chilly day.  I wanted it that way because I am a geocacher, and I was scouting potential geocache placements.  Geocaching tends to arouse suspicion, so it was nice to be there poking around without getting any wary looks.

On this particular day, I was scouting for my "Ballfield Series" caches, which is a series of four geocaches dispersed through the numerous ballfields in our town's main city park.  According to the standards for placing a geocache, they should be at least 1/10 mile apart.  I had already determined the location for Ballfield Series numbers 1, 3, and 4, but was still undecided between a few locations for number 2.

One of my potential locations (and the one I actually chose) was near the dugouts of the field pictured above.  The red arrows show my approach to the backsides of the two dugouts as I looked for the perfect hiding spot for "Ballfield Series #2".  I paused and poked around the backside of the first dugout in the right of the picture (remember this location), then moved to the backside of the other.

When I arrived at the second dugout (with a vantage point that afforded a view of the interior of the first dugout) and started nosing around (and making some noise), to my surprise I startled a male figure, apparently taking a "Sunday afternoon nap" inside the first dugout. 

I'm not sure which of us was startled more, but I quickly took my toys and went home, wanting to avoid any kind of confrontation with the mysterious man in the dugout.

Yet, a confrontation had already occurred, and I couldn't stop wondering... who sleeps in a dugout on a 20 degree Sunday afternoon?

There was a more important question, though (that I also couldn't stop wondering)... how should I respond?

I live in a small town with a population that hovers pretty close to 5,000.  We really do not see homeless people here (if, in fact, he was a homeless man).  But, what are the other possibilities?  He could have been a runaway... he looked like a young adult, from the quick glimpse I had.  He could have been a fugitive on the lam.  He could have been mentally ill, a "missing person", abused, stoned... who knows?  One thing is certain... under normal circumstances, he would not voluntarily choose to sleep in a concrete dugout on a blustery 20 degree February Sunday. 

As I sat back in my warm home, I was unable to forget about him.  Yet, I had no idea how to respond.  Should I take him some warm food?  And then what... just leave him there in the cold?  What if he was dangerous?  Should I call the authorities?  But, hasn't he already had a rough day without that?

I still don't know what was the right answer.  There are no easy answers to the world's hurts, but I was surprised to be confronted with it on a Sunday afternoon in small town America.  I have to admit that I was disturbed by it.  But, was I disturbed by his suffering... or, my own discomfort?  Probably both, but if I am honest, more so the latter.

How would you have responded? 

I'm not exactly proud of it, but in the end, I did...

Nothing.

non-competative

I had mentioned in a few blog posts quite a while back that we were on a church search (which started in late 2009).  Then I posted, also quite a while back, that I thought we had finally landed.  As it turns out, that post was premature.  Seems we have been on a three-plus year streak of willy-nilly non-committal church attendance, and we still do not have what I consider a home. 

It is really my fault.  I got discouraged from a past church experience, and I am seemingly just wallowing in it, claiming to be in a mode of "pulling back to regroup".  Enough, already... it's been three years!

The issue that seemed to be stalling me for the past several months, though, is Benny.  As a very active toddler with developmental delays, Benny can't just be dropped off in a Sunday School classroom or Kid's Church with age peers and be expected to fit in easily... it's a little more difficult than that.  It was not so bad when he was in a nursery environment, but once he outgrew the nursery, the easy solution has just been leaving him at home.  For months, I have taken the three older kids to church (hit and miss), and Ben and Jen have stayed at home.  Not ideal, but that is how we chose to cope with the situation.

As with many people, I don't really make New Year's resolutions, but I do tend to get a burst of new motivation with the new year.  Motivation to get more organized, start healthy habits, break some not-so-good habits... that sort of thing.

This year, a goal of mine is to stop wallowing in non-committal church attendance.  I need to get my family more grounded in Sunday School classes and better established in a "church home".  And, yes, that includes Benny, too.

The dilemma is that the smaller church we have been attending does not really have a "plan" for special needs children.  I don't fault them for that... they have likely never had the need to think on this before.  More about this in a moment...

There is a second very different choice that I am also considering.  The other choice is about a 15 mile drive from my home, which I consider to be a long distance for a church relationship.  We had tried this church when we first started searching, but I deemed it to be too far.  It is a much larger church, though, which equates to experience with special needs children.

I decided to explore a wider range of each church with the older kids (to date, we have mostly just been going to the worship hour and skipping Sunday School), and exploring options for Benny by talking to the two churches to see what his options are, before I introduce him to Sunday School.  My thinking is that I don't want to bounce him back and forth until I make up my mind... that would be hard on Benny.

In carrying out my exploration, I scheduled an appointment with the Children's Minister of the larger church.  Benny and I met with her one evening and she laid out a plan for integrating him into a class that she felt appropriate for him.  I was impressed.

I also scheduled a time to meet with my current Pastor to discuss what could be done to accommodate him there.  Again, I was impressed... but for a different reason.

My current Pastor is a very gracious and humble man.  He loves people and I don't think there is anything he could be doing that is more suitable to him than pastoring.  I come from a childhood church background that now seems rather narrow in it's thinking, to me.  He is similar in thought (fairly narrow), but he has impressed me on past occasions with things he has said that are much less narrow than I would expect.  An example is a sermon I wrote about in this blog post just about a year ago.

And this recent conversation was no exception.  As we talked, I outlined my thinking and the pros and cons of each church option, as it not only related to Benny, but my family as a whole.  I communicated how I was torn in my decision and was wrestling with the 2 very different options.  He outlined some suggestions of how we could accommodate Benny and he assured me that he was open to helping my family in any way he could.  I know him well enough that I expected all this.

Then came something that I didn't expect.  This Pastor encouraged me to consider something that seems fairly unorthodox for a pastor to suggest.  Although it is not what either of us considered to be ideal, he encouraged me to consider an ala carte approach, if that was what would truly meet the needs of my family during this phase of our lives.

Two churches?

Really?

A pastor just encouraged me to consider going there for what met my needs and coming to his church for what met my needs? 

Wow!  I honestly don't think there are many pastors that would willingly offer to "share" church folk with other churches... at least not from my experience.  It seems to me that pastors want to grow their churches, and sharing their attenders with another church seems a bit counter-productive.  But, my pastor recognized that the more important thing was to grow and strengthen my family ahead of growing and strengthening the church he pastors.  He suggested that if the resources of the larger church were better to accommodate Benny on Sunday morning, then go there, but if the distance made it difficult to be involved in some other options for family members, then plug into the hometown youth group, children's ministries and Bible studies, which meet at times other than Sunday morning.

I do not believe that is an ideal scenario.  My ideal plan would be to have one church home.  Although I had already considered this option as a possibility, I considered it a bit rogue and likely to not be well received.  But, it is possible, at least for this phase of our lives, that this may be an option that is good for my family.  I have not made a decision yet, but I applaud my pastor for being open-minded and non-competitive.

After all... shouldn't God's churches be non-competitive?