breaking beard

I've long been a fan of facial hair, but it has been somewhat elusive for me.  I was what could be called a "late bloomer" in that department.  But, even nearing fifty, good facial hair is just not in my genes.  In my younger years, when classmates and age peers were growing their first mustaches, I was barely shaving.  I had mustache envy and I often thought, "if I could just grow a mustache..."

I attempted my first mustache sometime around age 23 or 24.  It was a mustache in the sense that it was hair growing between my nose and my upper lip, but it was far from good.  Within a few years, though, it became passable, and I wore it for over a decade... during which time it continued to thicken to the point where I consider it respectable.

Yes, I wore browline glasses before they were trendy because

my grandpa wore them and they have always been cool as heck!

And, then the goatee became popular.  I had goatee envy and I often thought, "if I could just grow a goatee..."

Somewhere in my thirties I attempted my first goatee.  It was a little thin, but doable.  The weak spot was that nothing grew between the mustache and the goatee to connect what is known as the "circle beard".  Over time, though, the goatee thickened a little more and I could just barely complete the circle beard in a semi-respectable fashion.

an early goatee

But, I always wanted a full beard (long before the recent beard craze).  I love being in the woods and the woods and beards just seem to go together.  I had beard envy and I often thought, "if I could just grow a beard..."

I could tell, however, from the stubble that appeared on my cheeks, that a full beard was not likely to genetically ever happen.  Added to weak genetics was a neck surgery at age four that left a scar from just below my right ear, along the underside of my jawline and chin, and halfway to my left ear.  The surgery and scar "redistributed" what few follicles I had in this area and slightly skewed the beard area downward on my right cheek.  Added to weak genetics and a neck surgery was chronic cystic acne in my late teens and early twenties that left a patchwork of follicle-killing cystic scars on both cheeks (a few nearly the size of dimes).  The prospect of my ever having a full beard was sketchy, at best.

And that is where it stopped.  I never had the courage to try a beard because I was pretty sure it would look pretty nasty.

And then, recently beards have become all the rage.  Everyone is growing one!  (Well, I guess not everyone... I suppose it is mostly menfolk!)  Many grow one because a beard is fitting, but some just because it is the current hipster thing to do.  The result is that there are a lot of REALLY cool beards walking around.  But, there are also plenty of REALLY bad ones, too.

So, on New Year's Eve I made a decision to put my razor away!

I'm in my late forties and I feel like it is something every man should try at least once.  I work a job in which my interaction with others is predominately by phone, so my appearance is of little consequence.  Who did I have to impress?

It was time.  Project Beard 2016... let it grow!

Many folks say you have to try at least a month.  Some say two.  Even a few said three months is a fair trail.  I committed to at least a month, but I hoped to make it make at least two.  At day 54 (2 days shy of 8 weeks), I decided to abort the mission... it just wasn't working.  I can't promise I would never try it again, but at my age I don't think the beard is ever going to "bloom" any further, so I doubt another attempt.

not much for 8 weeks work!

So, I shaved it down to just my circle beard.  Later this spring, I will likely go back to just the goatee on the chin, which is probably my preferred pattern.   Given my follicle-challenged genetics, the circle beard is probably as ambitious as I can ever feasibly go with facial hair... a number of folks have referred to this as my "Walter White" look (from the TV series Breaking Bad)...

Heisenberg...

If you have actually taken the time to read this entire post, you and I are well aware that my exploits in facial hair are not the most interesting of blog fodder.  However, as I shaved and looked in the mirror, the title Breaking Beard struck me as humorous!  So, I decided I would go to the lab and "cook" this post...

Heisenblog?

And... if I "cook" writing of the highest quality... I figure you'll be back for more!

Lily is inked!

No, no, no!  I did NOT get my 11 year-old daughter a tattoo!

Absolutely not!

She doesn't even have her ears pierced!

But, I was recently told by a faithful reader and adoptive mom that "Lily doesn't get enough ink!"  So, I figured "inking" an update was in order.

I am actually well aware of the fact that, although she is the one who started me on this blog path, she now tends to receive the least press.  It is not intentional.  It has nothing to do with boys vs. girl, or anything like that.  It's just the way it works out.

Benny gets the most press, because... well, he's Benny.  There's often no shortage of material there!

Dylan and Zachary seem to get press because they are the oldest and have often experienced firsts.  They have also been my adventure partners over the past years... overnight bike rides and backpack trips... things I enjoy recording in the blog.

But, Lily lives fairly under the radar a lot in our home.

She's a good girl, fairly quiet, mostly easy to get along with... but amazing in many regards. And, in ways we often take for granted.

Technically speaking, Lily is a "special needs" kid, or a child with a "disability".  In her case, I prefer the term "differently-abled".  Whatever it would be called (and calling it something is a moving target with the political correctness police at the door), I barely even notice.  This is due, in part, to the fact that her "disability" (if it even is such) is overshadowed in our home by Ben's multiple disabilities.  On the surface, that might look like like a negative, but I'm not so sure but what it may be a positive for her.

Before Ben, I tended to focus more on Lily's limb difference.  In the process of adopting her, it seemed huge.  In those days, I would often try doing things with one hand-- zipping my jacket, tying my shoe... stuff like that-- to see just what life for my future daughter would be like.  I pictured it full of struggle and difficulty.  During the early times of her life in our family, there was more fussing over her... as though we two-handed people needed to teach her how to do things with one hand... kinda ludicrous, if you think about it!  After all, who has more experience at that... her or me?

But, along came Ben and the world of developmental delays, therapies, assessments, diagnoses, multiple disabilities... stuff that demanded more attention than Lily's limb difference.

So, for the most part, we stopped fussing over her "disability" and she has grown up mostly as though she has none.

Which is why, if I were forced to put a label on her limb difference, I like "differently-abled".  In other words, having different (not less) abilities than a "typical" person.  Yeah... I dare you to find something a "typical" 11 year-old girl can do that she can't, or even that she struggles with, for that matter.  The reality is that "differently-abled" in her case probably means that she has MORE ability than you or I!  She can do with five fingers what it takes the rest of us ten to accomplish!

Lily is very independent.  She asks for help with almost nothing.  And, she is always one of the first children in my family ready and in the car when it is time to go somewhere... shoes on and tied, jacket zipped... no sweat!

Among Lily's accomplishments this year is blowing the trumpet in first year band.  She is sounding pretty good and I am looking forward to her first concert in the spring.  Even her older brother Zachary (who is in his fourth year and among the top trumpet players in the marching band) has complimented her skills.  On some occasions, they both have their trumpets home at the same time and have been known to put together some two-part duets... it's a very cool thing to hear reverberating through the walls of my home!

She is also in her second year of girl's basketball, which is something she has completely taken the initiative to do.  Both years, when sign ups for the team came around, she approached us and told us she wanted to play. She is one of the smaller girls on her team, but that doesn't seem to bother her.  She handles the ball with five fingers every bit as good as her ten-fingered teammates and has, I think, one of the nicest foul shots of any of any girl on her team.  Recently a family member of one of her teammates mentioned how they were impressed with her and how they didn't even notice her limb difference until another parent pointed it out (in a complimentary way).

I sometimes wonder if I am doing her a disservice by focusing so much on Benny's disabilities and largely overlooking hers.  But, if most of the world (with the exception of a few mean kids) don't really notice her limb difference as any kind of a disability and she grows up largely unhindered and unlimited, isn't that better than fussing over her and causing her to be dependent?  I think maybe it is.

Regardless, whether I'm doing it right or not-so-right as a parent, I'm proud of Lily and I'm proud of her strength in taking "disabled" with a shrug and instead rocking out "differently-abled"!  Rock on, girl!