Friday, May 23, 2014

timely encouragement

Yesterday morning, Jen and I went to Ben's school for a conference with his teacher, his school's principal, our county's educational psychologist and the local school district's special education coordinator.  The conference was to discuss his Individualized Education Program (IEP) for next school year, and to discuss his transition plan from preschool to kindergarten.

The meeting went well, but the days leading up to it were a bit stressful.  We had a pretty good idea what we wanted for Ben, but did not know what the professional opinions in the room would recommend.  There are still details to iron out, but, thankfully, it appears that we are all on a similar page.

As I got up yesterday to prepare to leave for the meeting, I opened my facebook page and found this very timely video.  It was an emotional day, but this video was just the encouragement we needed.  The families featured in this video very accurately describe much of our journey, to date, with Ben. Thank you to the Dup15q Alliance for all you do to support families of children with this genetic syndrome, and for making this video.

If you know my family, and have not already done so, please watch this video.  This is where we live.

Video shared with permission of Dup15q Alliance

Sunday, May 18, 2014

weasel poppin'

Zachary has had an interest in music since he was very young.  He is excelling on the trumpet in band and has often sat down at Jen's electric piano and picked out tunes.  At one point, he had asked Jen to teach him to play, but that never really developed very far.  But, he officially started piano lessons the beginning of March.  His teacher has commented that he seems to have a gift for music and he advanced pretty quickly through his early lessons, partly because of his trumpet experience.  This afternoon's spring recital was his first.  He did a great job with "Pop Goes the Weasel!"

 
 

whale shoes

Ben's language often goes through growth spurts.  Lately he has been putting more words together to make longer sentences.  And, if he doesn't quite have the right words, he gets creative with expression.  Sometimes, though, his logic takes a bit of interpreting.

Jen has been going through some totes of clothes from storage, getting out summer clothes and the next sizes for those who have outgrown their wardrobe.  She dug out a few pairs of shoes for Ben and among them were these shiny black dress shoes.


Later that day, he was asking to wear his "whale shoes". Whale shoes?  We had no idea what whale shoes are.  Finally, Jen asked him if he could show her his whale shoes. 

He took her upstairs and grabbed the shiny black shoes.  "See my whale shoes?"

Then, it all made sense.  They are black and shiny... like a wet Shamu! 

Blurry, 'cause he rarely stops moving, but Benny ready for church, sporting his "whale shoes"! 

a little song-ger

This is another one of those snapshots of life with Ben that I want to preserve.  Jen captured this video of Ben a few days ago.  Typical of Ben, he makes us smile or laugh on nearly a daily basis!
 

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

downshift

I recently had to make a difficult decision.  Well, in the case of my sanity, it was a pretty easy decision, but emotionally and financially, it was a little more difficult.

If you've been along for the ride with Backside of Forty since... well, since just after I turned forty... you'll know that life came a bit unglued around about that time.  In 2008, after experiencing the joys of the adoption of a daughter (#3) and the birth of a surprise son (#4), the economy decided to take the American housing market (in which I was happily and gainfully employed) and flush it down the toilet... for a historically unprecedented long time.

What does a guy who has an unusable Master's Degree and seven years experience in an unrelated and dead field do when that happens?  Well, initially, about anything he can. 

Drive a Peterbilt...

Sell Chrysler/Dodge/Jeep/Ram products...

And, try to figure out where to go from there.

The Peterbilt was intended to be a temporary gig, thinking that the housing market would rebound in a year, or so.  The rebound?  Didn't happen.

Because I couldn't stand being away from my family for six consecutive days a week, I turned in the keys to my truck after a pretty brief truck driving stint and took the next anything that came along... selling cars.  I used the year and a half of car sales to try to regroup and rethink my future.  I also used it as a time of research.  As part of my role as car salesman... er, automotive sales and leasing consultant... I filled out credit applications for customers who purchased cars.  So, every time I sold a car, I learned my customer's occupation, employer and annual salary.  Interesting and eye-opening. 

One summer day in 2010, I sold a Dodge Nitro to an Insurance Claims Adjuster.  That day, I decided that with my background, skills, experience and income needs, I should consider becoming a property claims adjuster for an insurance company.  I did some additional research.  I made a plan.

From that point, I began to target insurance companies within a reasonable commute of my home, and began trying to network (something introverts suck at) with anyone I possibly could in the insurance industry... which was basically my agent and my cousin, Mike... but, hey, it's a start, right?  I rebuilt my resume and began weekly perusing a folder of links to insurance company job listings.  And, I discovered that it is pretty tough to get hired as an adjuster "off the street" with no prior experience. 

After many dead ends, in the fall of 2011, I was hired by a major insurance carrier, not as an adjuster, but as an underwriter.  Foot in the door... stepping stone...

In the spring of 2013, I then interviewed for a property claims adjuster position with my employer and was selected for the job.  It came with a salary increase and much more potential for financially bettering myself in the future. 

It took over two and a half years, but I achieved my new career goal!  I was a Property Claims Adjuster for a major insurance carrier, using my architectural, sales and customer service backgrounds in a position that I was proud of.  It was the best I had felt about myself in five years.

Then...

I crashed and burned.

Now, things crashing and burning are all in a day's work for an insurance adjuster, but those are our insured's things, not the actual career of the adjuster.  And, it was not that I was a dismal failure as an adjuster.  No, I was doing pretty well, and my supervisors, mentors and coworkers were happy with my work and in many cases felt that I was performing ahead of the learning curve.  But, the role was very demanding, fast paced and stressful... very stressful. 

I can deal with some stress.  The past few years have been quite stressful, in fact.  However, being the detailed person that I am, I had difficulty keeping up with the large volume of claims that came across my desk, and I just could not leave the stress at work.  For some reason, the nature of the job caused me to carry the stress with me everywhere I went... many nights depriving me of hours of needed sleep.

It was not just me.  The whole office seemed to be redlining on stress, but somehow juggling it and managing it... evidently slightly better than me.

After a number of discussions with my supervisor, I decided that, although common sense said that time would bring improved performance in my role as an adjuster, I could not see myself being able to handle the high stress levels long-term.  Though she felt that I definitely had the skills necessary to succeed as an adjuster, my supervisor confirmed that I would not be the first to aspire to this role, only to decide that it was not the right fit. 

This spring, underwriting positions opened up and I made the decision to apply.  I interviewed and was offered a position very similar to my previous one.  In early April, after just short of a year as a Property Claims Adjuster, I downshifted and stepped back into my previous department. 

Though they welcomed me back with open arms, and though I know of a number of underwriters who, like me, briefly detoured into the land of claims, it does not make it any less disappointing.  I am proud of achieving my goal to obtain the position, and I am proud of the work I did while in the position.  But, I have to admit that I am disappointed that it did not work out for me.  While underwriting is a noble career, it just does not have quite the amount of opportunity that exists in the claims department. 

Sometimes, though, you have to downshift.  Now, it is on to Underwriter... the sequel.