last kindergarten send-off

The last of my four kids boarded the bus for kindergarten this morning. My schedule worked out so that I was there to see it. I have had a few tough moments throughout the day... I'm an emotional and sentimental Dad.

In a way, this is old hat. Ben is continuing his education at the county school, where he has attended preschool for the past three years. I was also there the very first day he rode the same bus, at age two. THAT was hard!

But this was hard in it's own way.

Benny was in a somber mood this morning. He looked tired, though we got him in bed early the night before. When he is tired and stressed, he often has trouble with eye focus, and I could tell he was struggling this morning. He seemed a mix of resigned and uncertain, with some excitement showing through.

We made our decision last spring to keep him in the county school. It is a great school, much like a large family, and we love his teacher this year. I have not second guessed that decision since we made it, and watching the bus pull away this morning, I still knew it was the right option for him.

Yet, at the same time, grief does not just come to a parent of a special needs child at the moment of diagnosis. It can sneak up many times throughout life, sometimes at unexpected moments. This morning, as Ben boarded the bus and pulled away from our home, I experienced a variety of emotions, and grief was among them. 

Let me clarify, though. I was not grieving because of him, but for him.

As parents, we want life to go smoothly for our kids. We want them to excel and become independent and successful. I wish that for all my kids. However, seeing the "MRDD" in the school name on the side of the bus as it pulled away for this new phase of Ben's life, reminded me anew that Benny will have many struggles that my other children will not. Starting kindergarten is a major event in the life of our kids, and this morning Ben's bus set the course of his life in a different direction (literally and figuratively) than that of my other three kids. Although it was the right direction for him, I still had the urge to run ahead of the bus and smooth and fix things for him. I can only do so much, though. But, I can and will love and support him, cheer him on, celebrate him and rejoice in his accomplishments... and there have been many accomplishments to get him to this day.

You go, Benny! I love you, kid! Happy first day... you're my favorite Benny in the whole world!

Home, after a good first day

eras end and begin

Ben is a recent preschool graduate! 

For me, as a Dad, it was a pretty big deal.  Because of Ben's developmental delays, he has been at our county's preschool since he was two years old... for the first months (part time) in the early intervention program, and for the past three years (full time), riding the bus to Mrs. M's class.

 Two years old, first official day of preschool and first day on the bus

Five years old, last official day of preschool

The wrapping up of preschool was a very important time, because decisions needed to be made for the upcoming kindergarten year... decisions by both parents and the school system.  As the school year wrapped up, Jen and I attended Ben's IEP/Transition plan meeting.  We were leaning toward keeping him in the county school program, and felt that integration into our local public school would not be a good option for him.  We were nervous, though, not knowing what the others in the meeting would feel was appropriate (and cost effective).

In the end, the recommendations of his preschool teacher, the district representative and the county educational psychologist were unanimously in agreement with us in favor of staying at the county school.  There was another special needs pod school available in the county, so we toured the county school (Ben will be in a different wing in the coming years) and also toured the pod school, and feel confident that the county school is were he belongs... at least for now.  We met three of the four teachers for his grade level, and fell in love with one in particular.  We have requested that he be assigned to Mrs. Y's class, and the principal indicated that he would be assigned to her for the coming year.

We are very blessed with this school that our county operates.  It has been a big part of Ben's life for most of Ben's life and it is a very special place.  It is a place were much of the staff love what they do and really give themselves to special needs children.  It has the environment of family within a school.  Though they will likely not see this blog, I am thankful for teachers and principals like the ones Ben has been surrounded by.

So, as the preschool era ends, the elementary era begins. 

And, it is a unique year in our home, in that four of four children will change schools. 

Lily moves from Elementary to Middle.

Zachary moves from Middle to Jr. High.

Dylan moves from Jr. High to High.

Wow... just yesterday, Dylan was beginning kindergarten as is Ben.  Now, I have a high school freshman in my home?  Where does the time go?

more school days

One day they're toddling around the house, then suddenly, you wake up and your son's shoe size is only a half-size less than your own!  Man, how does it happen so quickly?  But, happen it does...

The end of August meant back-to-school x 4 in our household, and it is looking like a good year, so far.  Here's an update on our crew as they head back...

Dylan 7th grade

Does he look mature in his uniform, or what?

Dylan is going into his third year of percussion with the school band and he is SO excited!  Our school system's marching band is comprised of grades 7-12, so he is now a part of the official Drum Line, playing Friday night football games and a few band shows this fall.  Although he hates to dress up, he doesn't complain about donning his school's orange and black, and (I'm a little biased), but doesn't he look good in uniform?  He is one of four cymbal players and he is already dreaming of advancing (by audition) through snare and finally to quad.  (Currently, our school has only one quad, so it is a coveted honor).  He is very proud of his position on the drum line and he told me the other day, "band is like a family, but drum line is the tightest-knit group... even the high schoolers treat me good and teach me stuff."  Remember that, Dylan, when you're an upper classman and some skinny seventh grader dons the orange and black for the first time! 

Academically, Dylan tested out of 7th grade math and is advanced to 8th grade math, so he should have a challenging year ahead of him.

Zachary 5th grade

Zachary is our family fashionista.  He's always concerned with coordinating, matching and image.  He thinks the skater look is cool and he begged and pleaded for a pair of skinny jeans.  I'm not big on the look, but Jen gave in and bought him one pair.  He couldn't wait for the first day of school... but it was all about the outfit! 

Zachary has been debating his 5th grade decision for a few years, vacillating between choir or band (or nothing... extra study time).  Seeing his brother's enthusiasm about marching band during the August month-long marching band camp (perfect timing), his decision was sealed... band it is.  Thinking it would be fun for the two brothers to eventually be in drum line together (and being concerned about his asthma flare-ups), I suggested percussion.  Seemed like a logical choice.  Choosing his own path, however, Zachary decided he was born to be a horn blower, joining the brass section as a first-year trumpeter.

And so the search for a trumpet ensued... rent or buy, new or used?  Just beginning the search, I ran into a friend at last Friday night's high school football game (yes, I endured watching the guys in helmets open and close for the main event half-time marching band show!) and he told me, "Don't buy a trumpet...".  Today he showed up and blessed my son with a trumpet.  He had been a band member in high school, playing the trombone.  He shared with us that a while back he decided he was going to learn to play the trumpet and he searched over six months for just the right used trumpet.  Finally finding the right one at the right price, he bought one that, according to serial number research, was manufactured in 1955.  At 57 years old, it is still in nearly mint condition.  He told us it has just sat there and he realistically will never learn it, so he passed it to Zachary to make use of it.  Wow!  Thank you, Mr. B... what a blessing!  It is a beautiful two-tone finished horn and Zachary is in love!  The case looks 57 years old, and Zachary loves the retro look.  He's really pumped that his horn is more distinctive than any other in the band.  He says he can't wait to show it off at band tomorrow and I quote... "ya jelly, bro?"  (translation:  "are you jealous?").

Lily 2nd grade

Lily is excited about 2nd grade and she is already asking if she can join band... that's still three years away, but she doesn't want her bothers to get ahead of her.  She has been asking me which instruments would be best for playing with one hand.  It just so happens, there is a high school trumpeter in our school's band who plays with only his left hand. 

Benny preschool

Benny is back to all day (M-F) county preschool, where he gets speech, physical, and occupational therapies.  He is in the same class with the same teachers as last year, so the transition back to school was pretty smooth for him.  He experienced a little Mommy separation anxiety the first few days, but not too bad.

strike up the band

Dylan is now a second year band student, and he has considerably expanded his knowledge of percussion.  In fifth grade, percussion students focused on the bells, but in sixth grade he has added snare drum, bass drum, crash cymbal, suspended cymbal, wood block, triangle, and sleigh bells.

He is not quite as excited about band this year, mostly, I think, because he has a different band teacher than he had last year.  He is pretty sure he gets his original teacher back next year, as he transitions into marching band in seventh grade.

The fifth and sixth grade band concert was a few weeks ago.  He played bells, snare drum and triangle in this year's concert.

Dylan is in the back row, just to the right of the director, wearing a white shirt and dark tie.

Sixth grade percussionist

Dylan rarely gets dressed up, so I wanted to capture the moment.  Just before I took the picture, he had his hands full of drumsticks, mallets and music, so I told him to lay it on the ground, except for his drumsticks, for a picture... to which he vehemently protested, "No, Dad, give me my mallets, too... I played bells and drums tonight!"  Sorry, Dylan... you're right, percussion isn't just drums!

that took guts

My oldest, Dylan, is in a challenge reading class this year.  The kid can read well above his grade level, and he often chooses a pretty broad range of both fiction and non-fiction.  Recently, his reading class had a project called, "The Wax Museum", for which they had to read a biography and "perform" as a talking wax figure of the person they studied.

Sometimes your kids really make you proud.

This was one of those sometimes.

Dylan originally chose Mark Hall, lead singer of the Christian music group, Casting Crowns.  Great choice... except there isn't a lot of biographical content written on Mark Hall.  One evening, he was telling me about his choice to do Mark Hall because it would be a way to bring God to his public school, and that he was bummed that it didn't work out.  (Did I mention that I was proud of his choice?)  He wasn't sure who he would choose, since this first choice didn't work.  I told him I had a half-dozen, or so, biographies of Christians on my bookshelf that he was welcome to use, if any of them interested him. 

He hadn't really heard of any of them (Umm... Billy Graham?), but he thumbed through my books, and Jim Elliot, missionary to the Auca Indians of Ecuador, caught his attention.  Dylan read about the life of Jim Elliot, and was quite impressed... and was happy that pictures showed him mostly in a t-shirt, so it wouldn't be too hard to get in character!

He chose his "frozen pose" as standing while reading an open Bible.  When someone hit the "button" on his display, he tucked the Bible under his arm and told about his (Jim Elliot's) life.  When he was done with his memorized monologue, he went back to his reading pose.

He and I took a walk one evening, after the project was done, and he started telling me about what he learned from the life of Jim Elliot... which is pretty heavy stuff.  You see, Jim Elliot was killed in Ecuador at age 29.  I could tell the project had really impacted Dylan.  He also told me that some kids made fun of him for having a Bible at school... but, "it was worth it."

Whose kid is this?  I don't think I had that much guts at age 11... hmmm, do I now, for that matter?

back to school

In the aftermath of last Sunday's Kennywood excursion, which resulted in a bedtime of about 11:30 PM, Monday was back-to-school for Dylan, Zachary and Lily.  Dylan and Zachary are both still in the middle school building, and Lily, the elementary.  However, our district regrouped the busing this year, to eliminate one run from the daily schedule, which messed with the family dynamics of the bus stop.

Last year, Dylan and Zachary were together at the middle school bus stop, and Lily was by herself at the elementary bus stop.  This year, sixth grade (the last year of middle school) was bumped to the earlier junior high/high school bus, and the remainder of middle school was combined with elementary.  The  result in our home:  Dylan goes to the bus stop by himself (at 6:40 AM) and Zachary gets to walk his little sister to the bus stop! (He's thrilled about that)

The middle school uses the same bell schedule, but sixth grade starts and finishes one period earlier than the rest of the school.  Dylan says he likes the early schedule... "sixth grade rules the school, because we get there before everyone else.  The school is quieter and more relaxing with just sixth grade there."  He also likes getting home earlier than everyone else.

After a week, all three are pretty excited about school.  Lily thinks she is going to like first grade.  It's a lot about friends for her, and she was happy to see that she was in class with some of her friends from Kindergarten, and she got the teacher she wanted...  Mr. N. is one of the few male elementary teachers in our system. 

Zachary is excited to reach his recorder year.  Traditionally, fourth grade in our school system is the recorder year.  Every member of the class is presented with their own personal Yamaha recorder and the entire year's music curriculum is devoted to learning to play the instrument, culminating with a fourth grade concert for the middle school's Grandparent's Day the last week of school.  Is it just a coincidence that band starts in fifth grade and the fifth grade band teacher is also the fourth grade music teacher?  Ahhh, I think not!  Great way to pre-qualify the expectations of potential band members!

Dylan is in his last year of middle school, and he was moved up to Challenge Math, Reading, and Social Studies this year.  He should have probably been in challenge courses already, but they only test for promotion to challenge placement in third and fifth grades, and he missed the assessment in third, because we transitioned him from public charter homeschool to local public during the winter break of his third grade year.  He has friends that have been in the challenge courses since fourth grade, so  he is excited to be with them.  He'll be learning snare drum, bass drum, and tambourine in his second year of school band.

symphony?

Last evening, I took my family to the symphony to hear the debut of a world-famous percussionist.  Well... actually, we went to the middle school band concert to hear the debut of our first-year band student... but to a proud parent, it may as well have been Carnegie Hall.

If you recall from an earlier post, Dylan wanted join the middle school band this year, but almost passed, due to nervousness.  Jen and I made the decision for him, that he had to try it for at least a year.  That decision resulted in a great year, and his looking forward to the next year.

As the school year nears the end, last night was the annual middle school band concert... a time for the students to highlight their year's hard work and accomplishments.  Since Monday and Thursday are long days in the car business (9AM-9PM), I was fortunate to get permission to leave early to attend.  Although a little nervous, Dylan was proud to have a row of his family come to watch his performance, and he did a great job.

After the concert, I got to meet one of his best friends, "Sherm", who is also in the band (Jen had already met him at previous events).  I told Sherm, "It's nice to finally meet you, I've heard a lot about you."  To which he responded, "I've heard a lot about you, too.  You sound like a very nice man."  How diplomatic, Sherm!  It's good to meet your kid's friends and have a positive first impression of them (not just because he said something nice about me... you can just tell he seems like a good kid).

the fan club

5th grade (first-year) Tiger Band.  Dylan is in the back row, far left, standing.

"Old McDonald had a Band" with bell group solo

Christmas events

This Christmas is one that I, personally, am a little glad that it's behind us.  Jen and I both had a difficult time getting into the spirit of the season this year.  Just how much difficulty, you ask?  Well, as I write this, it is the 28th of December and our Christmas tree is still without ornaments.  Yep, we put up the tree mid-month, got as far as the lights... and ran out of deck-the-halls energy!  We squeaked through Christmas on a bare minimum level of activity this year, and I'm not sure that's a bad thing... maybe even refreshing!  Of course, it didn't help that 5 out of 6 of us were some sort of sick through the bulk of the holiday.  I'm hoping we have more holiday energy next year, but here are a few of the few photos we bothered to take:

Lily, looking pretty for her kindergarten Christmas program.

She enjoyed singing.

Dylan and Zachary (shepherd #1 and shepherd #2) in the church Christmas play.  Costumes were pretty low-key, but when we were debating what Zachary should wear, I suggested his sandals.  He was upset that they were trimmed in bright green with the brand "Nerf" prominent in bright green.  He said Biblical shepherds would not wear Nerf sandals.  We said, maybe he was an affluent shepherd named Nerf, with monogrammed sandals.  He chose not to wear the sandals, but we still called him, "Nerf, the keeper of the sheep"!

Dylan's second role (King Herod).

post-play cast picture

Lily wanted a "radio-controlled dog".  Meet Go-Go, the Fur Real Friends mechanical dog.  She walks, she wags, she barks... and nobody has to clean up the yard!

Story here:  The boys have had a very outdated Sony PlayStation video game for several years.  They wanted a Nintendo Gamecube this year, which is still outdated, but less outdated than what they had.  Our family is not sure we are Wii impressed, so the Gamecube is, in my opinion, still a great system for cheap.  They relentlessly bugged me for a few months prior to Christmas.  I wrapped just the power cord/transformer and kept it separate from the rest of the gifts.  Their hope was getting deflated as they got to their last gifts, and no Gamecube.  I was proud of them, though.  They were mature about it, and I felt just a little bad.  After everything was opened, I let them sit a few minutes.  Then, in the spirit of Ralphie Parker's Dad (from the movie, A Christmas Story), I produced one last gift for them (but too small to be a Nintendo Gamecube).  Slightly confused, they opened it.  Even more confused, they studied it for a moment.  In this photo, Zachary is just discovering the small words on the transformer body, "Nintendo Gamecube", and the realization is dawning on Dylan.  Much excitement erupted seconds after this photo!  Boys... you've been PONED!

As I was uploading photos, I realized that poor Benny wasn't represented in this year's Christmas photos.  Sorry, Benny!  You'd have to know Benny, but he takes so much parental energy that there isn't always any photographic energy left over.  He was really not into Christmas.  Not the gifts, not the unwrapping, not much of anything.  It doesn't help that he has had a nasty cold and hasn't been eating or sleeping well through the holiday.  I'll have to get a few pictures with his new toys, but for now, these are, unfortunately for him, about the only Benny Christmas pictures this year:

Benny is lately into trying on other people's shoes.  Here he is checking his look in sister's ruby Christmas shoes!

Secure in his manhood and happy with his look!  Love ya, Benny Jay!

back to school

School started last week.  Here are the kids first day pictures.

5th grade

3rd grade

Both in middle school together this year

Kindergarten

Miss Charlotte's bus

best gift ever

Zachary, soon to be 8, had a school assignment to write a story titled, "The Day I Received My Best Gift". Neither Jen or I knew anything about the assignment until he brought the paper home today, so the story was completely his original thoughts and words. Zachary writes:

"My best gift ever was birth. It was a Thursday night in Akron, Ohio. I feel really special now that I look back at it. But without Mom I wouldn't be here. If you stop thinking toys and gifts for your birthday, you'll notice something. Your best gift ever... birth."

His teacher really liked it. I must concur! (Although... I feel a little slighted in the whole "without Mom I wouldn't be here" part... after all, I helped!)

el sombrero loco

This week, as Right to Read Week fun, Zachary's 2nd grade class had crazy hat day. Jen bought Zachary and Dylan sombreros when she was recently in Mexico during her cruise. Do you see where this is going?

Zachary's ears perked up when the teacher announced crazy hat day.

Zachary to Mrs. P: "Is there a size limit for crazy hats?"
Mrs. P: "Just how big IS your crazy hat?"
Zachary: "About 3 feet."
Mrs. P: "I think the size limit is 4 feet."

Zachary thought his sombrero would look great with the cowboy boots that he is really into lately. He also got in the Halloween costume box and found the silky shirt and vest that Dylan has used in past years for his pirate costume. He went beyond the crazy hat and went to school looking like he should be playing in a mariachi band. I'm pretty sure he had a lot of fun dressing up. However, he did have to take the hat off in most classes... it's a little too hard to concentrate when you're sitting behind el sombrero loco!

many A's

Dylan and Zachary brought home stellar report cards yesterday. Both boys earned all A's and only one B, and earned various awards. Dylan's school uses the AR Reading program, and he had the second highest AR points in his class. 10 AR points were required for the grading period, and he had 17. He loves to read and I love it that he loves it. Jen and I are very proud of their accomplishments.

the mouth of babes...

Dylan has been doing very well since he transitioned back to public school, following Christmas break. The biggest difficulty, though, is with his art teacher. He has art every Wednesday, and he goes to bed on Monday and Tuesday with a building sense of dread. He hasn't exactly had a problem with this teacher, he is just afraid of her. He says she's REALLY mean and impatient.

Last week, leading up to Wednesday, he prayed for a good art class and asked Jen and I to pray specifically for that. When Wednesday came, he had a good day because his teacher "was in a good mood". Again this week, he is following the same pattern, but he shared with me this evening that he feels the Lord has brought this into his life as a test. He felt that it was a test to see if he would trust God to help him in this situation. He told me that the Lord answered his prayer because his teacher was nice last week.

While I was really excited (and maybe a little surprised) about his mature perspective, I felt the need to redirect him slightly. I didn't want him to think that every time he prays, the trouble will be removed. Trying not to burst his bubble, I gently reminded him that God always answers our prayer, but he doesn't always answer it in the way that is the easiest, or most desirable. I told him that sometimes he might pray for art class and still have a rough day. He got it, and questioningly finished the thought for me... God might instead give him the strength to go through a difficult day?

Although I, the Dad, gently redirected my 8 year old son, he didn't realize that I learned the bigger lesson from the conversation. Although I have prayed about the difficulty of my unemployment, I'm not sure I view the trial through as mature eyes as my son viewed his trial. Oh, intellectually, I know all this, but, being the adult that I am, I tend to pray and then go try to make things happen in my own strength. My son, instead, prayed and then actually trusted the God of his prayers to help him "pass the test". Thank you Dylan, for reinforcing this powerful lesson.

As he asked me tonight at bedtime to pray for art class tomorrow, and asked me to also pray for him while he was at school tomorrow, the second lesson that was reinforced was the importance of diligently uplifting my kids in prayer. Oh, I pray for them, but not always as diligent as I should. I promised him that I would pray for him while he is at school, but I also made a mental note to take this particular aspect of fatherhood much more seriously. He's counting on me to be in his corner, and I want him to be able to confidently know that I've got his back and I'm supporting him with prayer.

good grades!

Yesterday marked the end of the second nine weeks grading period at the boys schools. Both came home with reports cards that made us proud. Zachary was recently awarded the title of "Star Student", and missed the "A-B" honor roll by just one "C". Dylan earned a citizenship award and made the "A-B' honor roll.

I am trying not to sound too braggartly, and I don't have a bumper sticker on the back of my mini-van touting my kids intelligence, but I am proud of them. As you might recall, both boys transitioned from public school at home to our local district following Christmas break. They have made a very smooth transition.

I'm proud of Jen, as well. She has had a lot on her plate, and while we both had to admit that we needed to make the difficult choice to switch educational gears, mid-year, it appears that they were academically pretty well prepared... and brought home the grades to prove it.

Good job, guys!

shifting gears

After much emotional wrestling, Jen and I made the decision to put Dylan and Zachary into public school following the Christmas recess. Hence, today was their "first day" of school. Education choices have been one of our biggest parental struggles, to date. In theory, we are very pro-home education. In practice, though, we have a difficult time pulling it off.

In our state, we have the option of enrolling our kids in a privately run, publicly funded charter school. Most of these are distance learning options, sometimes referred to as "public school at home." It is a compromise between public school and traditional home school. Because it is considered a public school, our boys are on track with their age peers at our local district, with the exception of a few differences between the curriculum. It is essentially like moving to a new district, except they need to transition from the casual home atmosphere to the more structured classroom atmosphere.

We initially felt that we would be able to continue teaching them at home with the addition of Lily. But, the addition of Lily AND Ben made this plan much less feasible. As much as we wanted them schooled in the home, we had to be honest with ourselves and admit that we were being stretched in too many directions and were not doing all things well. We take these decisions very seriously and do not switch education plans on a whim, but nor can we continue to pridefully ride out a plan that we determine is just not completely effective. We try to plan long term, but we have to continually assess and make course corrections, as necessary and available. Perhaps home education can be a part of our future plan... perhaps not. For now, we feel this is the best option for our family dynamics. Dylan was home-educated for Kindergarten, but we did not like the charter school we used. He attended our local district for first grade, then we brought him back home for second and the first half of third, with a different charter program. (As I said, we've really wrestled with these decisions). He was slightly nervous, but excited about the change. He had a pretty good idea what to expect, because of his first grade experience. He is now in the middle school, though, so he has to learn a new building. He had a good first day, and was able to reconnect with many of his friends from first grade.

Zachary has been home educated since Kindergarten, so this was a brand-new experience for him. He is more social than Dylan, so he has been lonely as a homeschooler. He, too, was slightly nervous, but very excited to go to school.

Unlike Dylan, today was Zachary's first experience riding the "Yellow Screamer". There is something sad about a parent putting their kid on the bus for the first time, but Zachary was undaunted. He did not hesitate to go to the bus stop and did not want anyone accompanying him. He went out (in the cold) about ten minutes before the bus was even scheduled, and stood, rocking on his heels, rearing to go. He came home excited, reporting that he had a great first day, didn't get lost, met several kids, and even had a little girl blowing kisses at him... which he said he wasn't too excited about! (Boy, they start early these days, don't they...)

what is it?

This picture was recently featured on one of Zachary's first grade worksheets about silent consonants. The instructions were to select whether the featured item started with a "gn" or "wr". Zachary was stumped, so he asked my wife what the picture was. My wife was stumped, so she asked me for help. I said, "well, of course, everyone knows its a... uhh... hmm... its a... well, it looks like a... I don't know". I finally figured it out, with the help of my trusty Webster's dictionary, but, apart from that, I never would have figured it out... and neither would my first grader. I mean, come on, who writes this stuff?

Just curious, do you know the answer (without consulting Webster)? stay tuned! I'll tell you who this character is in a few days. (I'm sure you're on the edge of your seat!)