did He hear it?

I am not one to over-spiritualize things, but last Sunday morning with Benny illustrated something for me.  For this post to make sense, you have to first read "I heard it".  Had the events of that post not happened on a Sunday morning, it may not have had the same impact, but here is the sequel...

This past Sunday, I was looking forward to morning worship... which is saying something.  There was a lengthy period of time where I was so spiritually discouraged that I attended, but did not necessarily look forward to it.  Sure, there are still weeks like that, but it is getting better.  I have been finding myself often looking forward to Sunday morning, and Benny's admission of "you're my favorite Dad" helped put me in a great mood.  To add even more positive to the morning, all four kids managed to get ready, on time, with very little bickering... could the morning get any better?

I smiled as I prepared for worship, thinking about my morning cuddle time with Ben.  As I pondered this, it occurred to me that the situation was a picture of my own spirituality.  On this particular Sunday morning, I imagined God saying "You're my favorite you in the whole world".  Because of my spiritual discouragement over the past handful of years, like Benny, I had often responded to Him by saying "No, get outta here, God!"  He longs to figuratively have me lean in, hug His neck, and tell Him I love him.  On this particular morning, while attending the worship service, it felt like I did just that.

The challenge, though, for me, anyway, is to keep that worship experience going on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday...

Although I often look forward to Sunday morning, it is easy to let the difficulties of the week choke me back to "No, get outta here, God!"  However, I am thankful that He just keeps repeating it... "You're my favorite you in the whole world!"

I heard it

Benny makes no bones about it... he's a Mama's boy. 

It never gets easier, but I have grown somewhat used to him preferring Jen over me, even to the point of often trying to love on him and hearing him tell me, "No, get outta here, Dad!"  I now know that IDIC 15 probably has something to do with that, but it still hurts, just the same.

Jen was gone for about 24 hours this weekend on a girl's night out with some friends, so Dad was running the home front.  This has happened on numerous occasions, but this is the first time that Benny hardly even asked about, or talked about, Mama.  Not that I don't want them to be close, but it was kind of nice to not feel like second-- or third-- best to Benny this weekend. 

We all watched a movie in the evening, and Benny actually snuggled up to me.  ME!  He will often choose Dylan as his backup when Jen is not here to snuggle with... but, he chose Dad.  What an honor.  I cherished the moment and even let him stay up longer than I normally would have, soaking up every last bit of it. 

And, then it was off to bed, with no fuss and no crying for Mama.

But, the coup de grâce occurred early this morning.  He awoke a little ahead of the Sunday morning church alarm and came to my bedroom, as is often his custom.  I invited him into my cozy bed to snuggle and he crawled under the covers and wrapped his arms around my neck and the conversation went like this:

       Me:  "I love you, Ben!"
       Ben:  "I love you too, Dad!"
       Me:  "You're my favorite Ben in the whole world!"
       Ben:  "You're my favorite Dad!"

Now, it may not seem like much to you, but, since they were small, I have made a habit of telling all my kids "You are my favorite [insert name] in the whole world".  And, they have all said it back to me (when they were little, anyway... not so much as they get older, but I still tell them.)

I have never heard Benny say it... until today! 

We may soon be back to "No, get outta here, Dad!", but, for today, I heard it... "You're my favorite Dad!"