breaking beard

I've long been a fan of facial hair, but it has been somewhat elusive for me.  I was what could be called a "late bloomer" in that department.  But, even nearing fifty, good facial hair is just not in my genes.  In my younger years, when classmates and age peers were growing their first mustaches, I was barely shaving.  I had mustache envy and I often thought, "if I could just grow a mustache..."

I attempted my first mustache sometime around age 23 or 24.  It was a mustache in the sense that it was hair growing between my nose and my upper lip, but it was far from good.  Within a few years, though, it became passable, and I wore it for over a decade... during which time it continued to thicken to the point where I consider it respectable.

Yes, I wore browline glasses before they were trendy because

my grandpa wore them and they have always been cool as heck!

And, then the goatee became popular.  I had goatee envy and I often thought, "if I could just grow a goatee..."

Somewhere in my thirties I attempted my first goatee.  It was a little thin, but doable.  The weak spot was that nothing grew between the mustache and the goatee to connect what is known as the "circle beard".  Over time, though, the goatee thickened a little more and I could just barely complete the circle beard in a semi-respectable fashion.

an early goatee

But, I always wanted a full beard (long before the recent beard craze).  I love being in the woods and the woods and beards just seem to go together.  I had beard envy and I often thought, "if I could just grow a beard..."

I could tell, however, from the stubble that appeared on my cheeks, that a full beard was not likely to genetically ever happen.  Added to weak genetics was a neck surgery at age four that left a scar from just below my right ear, along the underside of my jawline and chin, and halfway to my left ear.  The surgery and scar "redistributed" what few follicles I had in this area and slightly skewed the beard area downward on my right cheek.  Added to weak genetics and a neck surgery was chronic cystic acne in my late teens and early twenties that left a patchwork of follicle-killing cystic scars on both cheeks (a few nearly the size of dimes).  The prospect of my ever having a full beard was sketchy, at best.

And that is where it stopped.  I never had the courage to try a beard because I was pretty sure it would look pretty nasty.

And then, recently beards have become all the rage.  Everyone is growing one!  (Well, I guess not everyone... I suppose it is mostly menfolk!)  Many grow one because a beard is fitting, but some just because it is the current hipster thing to do.  The result is that there are a lot of REALLY cool beards walking around.  But, there are also plenty of REALLY bad ones, too.

So, on New Year's Eve I made a decision to put my razor away!

I'm in my late forties and I feel like it is something every man should try at least once.  I work a job in which my interaction with others is predominately by phone, so my appearance is of little consequence.  Who did I have to impress?

It was time.  Project Beard 2016... let it grow!

Many folks say you have to try at least a month.  Some say two.  Even a few said three months is a fair trail.  I committed to at least a month, but I hoped to make it make at least two.  At day 54 (2 days shy of 8 weeks), I decided to abort the mission... it just wasn't working.  I can't promise I would never try it again, but at my age I don't think the beard is ever going to "bloom" any further, so I doubt another attempt.

not much for 8 weeks work!

So, I shaved it down to just my circle beard.  Later this spring, I will likely go back to just the goatee on the chin, which is probably my preferred pattern.   Given my follicle-challenged genetics, the circle beard is probably as ambitious as I can ever feasibly go with facial hair... a number of folks have referred to this as my "Walter White" look (from the TV series Breaking Bad)...

Heisenberg...

If you have actually taken the time to read this entire post, you and I are well aware that my exploits in facial hair are not the most interesting of blog fodder.  However, as I shaved and looked in the mirror, the title Breaking Beard struck me as humorous!  So, I decided I would go to the lab and "cook" this post...

Heisenblog?

And... if I "cook" writing of the highest quality... I figure you'll be back for more!