I am a statistic

When you hear in the news that unemployment claims are up, think of me. I have feared this day was coming, but hoped it wouldn't. My position as an architectural draftsman (residential) has been looking bleak for a while, as the economy spirals downward, taking with it the housing market. With loans harder to obtain, and new home starts way down, house plan sales are very depressed. Unfortunately, this means that I am no longer needed. I don't blame my employer. On the contrary, he has done all he possibly could to delay the inevitable, even to the point of deferring to me work that he would normally have done, just in an effort to try to keep me on long enough to ride out the storm. I have a few more days worth of work on my desk to wrap up, which will last me through most of next week. Next Friday, I will likely be packing my desk and Monday will likely find me in the unemployment line.

I must admit that this is a fearful time for me. As sole provider for my family (my recently larger family), this is a heavy weight upon my shoulders. The difficult part is that it's not just my job that 's gone. My field has temporarily evaporated. It will most likely return. Building will eventually pick up, but not in time for my family. Quite honestly, I'm not exactly sure what I will do. I hold a Master's Degree in Audiology, but after practicing just over 5 years, I was miserably unhappy. I left the field of Audiology 7 years ago, when a friend made me an offer to join him in his Architectural business, by training with him as a draftsman. During the 7 years I was with him, Jen and I made the decision to let my Audiology license lapse, with the intent that I would never go back to it (a decision that, even as I sit on the brink of unemployment, I still don't think I regret). This decision means that I cannot return to the field of Audiology. So, what does a middle-aged guy, with a useless Master's Degree and seven years experience in an unrelated and "dying" field, do when he grows up? That's what I am trying to figure out. The chances of finding something in my field are slim. I am not sure if I will try to find SOMETHING... ANYTHING that will pay the bills, or if I will look toward training for another field. I need to get a plan together pretty quickly.

I am sure there are lessons in this that I am to learn. I am hoping this will soon be better, and I can look back and testify how God carried us through. However, it seems easier for me to give Him credit on the backside of the storm, than it is to have faith going into the storm. Fortunately, our family tries to live by the principle of "margin". I have long been a student of Biblical financial stewardship and the teachings of the late Larry Burkett. I minister through my church as a volunteer budget counselor, trained by Crown Financial Ministries. I have taught other families the principles of budgeting, living within or below your means, living with little or no debt, and having emergency savings. I have lived by and proven these principles. They are about to be tested again. However, I don't think I have ever really proven the God of these principles. Even though they are Biblical principles, I often wrestle with whether I am trusting in Jeff and his ability to plan, budget, and save, or truly relying on God. I fear most of the time I am relying on me. Intellectually, I know that God is in control and that He is big enough to take care of my family. I also know that this didn't take Him by surprise. Even while we felt that He was leading us toward adoption, He knew this would happen, He knew how I would respond, and He knew the outcome. And yet, I want to "fix" it, as if I am in control. I know, though, that I need to rely on God, and it is a lesson that I don't want to have to learn the hard way. I am hoping that I didn't just enroll in "Hard Way 101".

I know that many people reading this blog are praying Christians, and I ask you to pray for wisdom and guidance for Jen and I, as we try to determine God's direction in this, and as we shift gears and try to put together a strategy. Pray that God will lead me in the proper direction to a job, training, career change, etc. Even though I enjoy my work, I have often found myself thinking that there surely must be something I could do with my life that would serve a greater purpose than drawing houses. Ultimately, I think I would enjoy either writing, or doing something that benefits or promotes orphans and adoption. I know nothing is impossible with God, but given my education and experience, this doesn't seem at all feasible-- at least not for putting food on the table in the near future.

Because this post is very personal, my pride and ego would rather I not post it. But, because I covet your prayers, I will post. My Captain has just turned on the "fasten seat belts" sign, there is turbulence ahead...